I thought I was pretty much beyond it, honestly, and then this happened today.
The scene: a hallway outside my office. I am talking to a (female) colleague ... when will we be having the holiday "security meeting" ... how much scotch is left in that bottle from last time... the usual Wednesday afternoon stuff.
Another colleague (also female) I know only very slightly walks by and says, "When are you gonna have a baby?"
Me: [stunned silence] "... Uh, I don't know, is that how we're greeting each other these days? [recovering slightly] When are YOU having a baby?"
Her: "No, my kids are grown, I'm done!"
Me: [laughing uncomfortably, backing away]
Later, as I was relaying this story to a good friend, who also happens to work with me and is the only person who actually knew about the pregnancy, and, I must admit, sort of congratulating myself that I didn't lose it totally, and isn't it great that I don't really get upset by these drivebys, though she's lucky she didn't get her head ripped off ... and what ever happened to the rule that you DON'T ASK SOMEONE IF THEY ARE PREGNANT UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY SEE A BABY COMING FROM THEIR VAGINA ... blah blah blah ... and my friend gets this uncomfortable look on his face [yes, he is a man, and yes, he is one of my best friends, and yes, he actually listens to me when I talk about this stuff].
So as it turns out, this same woman came up to him out of the blue in the week that I was pregnant that he knew I was pregnant before the miscarriage, and asked him almost the same question: "I've been watching Mary and, well, is she pregnant?"
You know where this is going, right? That instead of taking this to mean that a) she's a total bitchface, and b) I need to lose some weight because even random strangers are beginning to infer things, I've decided that it means that she is psychic and she has mysterious powers of seeing, and even though every medical test we've taken says the chances of it happening are beyond miniscule, somehow we have miraculously succeeded in conceiving naturally and SHE COULD SENSE IT with her evil powers, and it will all be kittens and lollipops from here on out.
La la la ... I'm not listening to you.
...well, it was a nice thought anyway...
Moving on to the cowardice portion of our program:
I received a copy of my chart. It has been sitting in my bedroom for five days. I took it to work over the weekend and made a photocopy, eyes clamped firmly shut so that I wouldn't accidentally read anything upsetting. I am afraid to look at it.
Help me.
-Mary Scarlet
Listning to "Steve Martin: A Wild and Crazy Guy" (see, esp, track 6, "...but listen to THIS ..." God I love Steve Martin)
p.s. Cute baby Christmas Card Count: 1
My Cute Baby Card Count (CBCC) ratio to regular cards is 2:9.
Fortunately, neither are really all that "cute".
Maybe it has to do with them both being my SIL's grandchildren.
Posted by: DD | December 13, 2006 at 08:14 PM
Yep, I'm up to three on my CBCC. Joy.
Posted by: Mollywogger | December 14, 2006 at 08:33 AM
Mostly in the UK ppl dont' send pictures, so my cute baby count so far is zero.
What a horrible drive by, that would have stunned me!
Posted by: thalia | December 14, 2006 at 08:38 AM
Dude. What.the.fuck? I hate that shit. Especially because I KNOW you're reeling now, thinking about what you could have said.
Posted by: statia | December 16, 2006 at 02:20 PM
seriously WTF? I just don't understand people. you handled that co-worker really well - I would have freaked out, stuttered and then probably gone ballistic 15 minutes later. next time you see her, I urge you to slap her silly. (you know what I mean. that crap irks the sh*t out of me.)
CBCC = 0 - this unbelievable. now I'm jinxed and likely to receive 5 this week - damn it!
Posted by: waiting line | December 16, 2006 at 03:30 PM
CBCC=0, but I suspect that is because the Actually took away and opened the card from his cousin so I wouldn't have to see it.
I'm sorry about the drive-by, and good luck looking at the records. Steve Martin should help!
Posted by: Alexa | December 17, 2006 at 06:40 PM
CBCC is upwards of 10. I'm not sure which ones are more upsetting, the cute babies or the cute teenagers, they're the ones that say, see, we did this a long time ago, and we're the same age as you! Fuck. Merry Christmas anyway, and come by my blog for some music.
Posted by: Donna | December 23, 2006 at 06:19 PM
Hello? You okay? Haven't heard from you in a while and I hope all is okay.
Posted by: Leggy | February 07, 2007 at 05:45 PM